Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Adventures in hiring gardening help

I recently had a help wanted ad for a gardener at Craigslist, my local paper and Workopolis.

The person who wrote this corporate boilerplate didn't have a hope of getting an interview:

Being hard-working, conscientious, flexible, honest and above all else, results driven. I am able to discern and respond to changing requirements while maintaining team communication and interaction. As a detail oriented self starter and organized professional, I have developed sound multi‑tasking and problem solving strategies and can respond quickly in dynamic setting to establish consistent productivity. I also understand the importance of unconditional customer trust and satisfaction in the cultivation of a loyal client base. I am very interested in ongoing skills development; confident that I would be a positive addition to your organization, and a great team player, the opportunity to further discuss my qualifications and your needs would be very welcome.

Available at your earliest convenience, I look forward to hearing from you.

The gal who wrote this got the job:

This job sounds perfect for me! I have been working on my own property building my garden for the past 8 years and it has become my passion. I would love to work with more extensive gardens as I am out of room. I have worked for the past 14 years in an indoor corporate administrative environment and yearn to be outdoors. I have already got slivers and calluses from raking and transplanting this season. I can deal with weather.

I am in the midst of a career change and have decided to follow my dream and pursue garden design. I think I am perfect for this position as I am driven to perfection and would love to make your garden the best in show.... I have no formal education or experience other then my own garden successes and failures that I have learned from.
© Yvonne Cunnington, Country Gardener


  1. You really needed to have your boots on for that first response. My goodness.

  2. Whew, that first response was almost impossible to get through without getting a stomach ache.

  3. I'm puzzled that students think this kind of Orwellian corporate-speak will get them an interview. What planet are the living on?

  4. She got my vote too!!! I'm jealous of her position!! Wish her good gardening from me!!!

  5. Yikes! Wrong speed, made the right choice!


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-Yvonne, aka Country Gardener