Adventures in hiring gardening help

I recently had a help wanted ad for a gardener at Craigslist, my local paper and Workopolis.

The person who wrote this corporate boilerplate didn't have a hope of getting an interview:

Being hard-working, conscientious, flexible, honest and above all else, results driven. I am able to discern and respond to changing requirements while maintaining team communication and interaction. As a detail oriented self starter and organized professional, I have developed sound multi‑tasking and problem solving strategies and can respond quickly in dynamic setting to establish consistent productivity. I also understand the importance of unconditional customer trust and satisfaction in the cultivation of a loyal client base. I am very interested in ongoing skills development; confident that I would be a positive addition to your organization, and a great team player, the opportunity to further discuss my qualifications and your needs would be very welcome.

Available at your earliest convenience, I look forward to hearing from you.

The gal who wrote this got the job:

This job sounds perfect for me! I have been working on my own property building my garden for the past 8 years and it has become my passion. I would love to work with more extensive gardens as I am out of room. I have worked for the past 14 years in an indoor corporate administrative environment and yearn to be outdoors. I have already got slivers and calluses from raking and transplanting this season. I can deal with weather.

I am in the midst of a career change and have decided to follow my dream and pursue garden design. I think I am perfect for this position as I am driven to perfection and would love to make your garden the best in show.... I have no formal education or experience other then my own garden successes and failures that I have learned from.

© Yvonne Cunnington, Country Gardener